Are You a Tweaker?

It doesn’t matter what you call it. It doesn’t matter how you did it. It brought us to our knees, because without exception, that’s what it does.

Is speed a problem in your life? Are you an addict? Only you can answer those questions. For most of us who have admitted defeat, the answer is very clear. Yes, we had a problem with speed, and no, we couldn’t fix the problem by ourselves. We had to admit defeat to win. Speed was our master.

We couldn’t control our drug use. What started out as weekend or occasional use became daily use, and we soon found ourselves beyond human aid. We truly suffered from a lack of power to fix our problem.

Some of us used speed as a tool to work harder and longer, but we couldn’t keep a job. Others picked at their faces and arms for hours and hours or pulled out their hair. Some of us had uncontrollable sexual desire. Others endlessly tinkered with projects, accomplishing nothing, but found ourselves so busy we couldn’t get to work on time.

We deluded ourselves into thinking that staying up for nights on end was OK, that our tweaking was under control, and that we could quit if we wanted to, or that we couldn’t afford to quit, or that our using didn’t affect our lives.

Maybe we saw a friend go to jail, or lose their apartment, or lose their job, or lose the trust of their family, or die, but our clouded minds wouldn’t admit we were next.

Most of us saw no way out, believing that we would use until the day we died.

Almost universally, if we had an honest moment, we found that our drug use made seemingly insurmountable problems in our lives.

The only way out was if we had the courage to admit that speed, our one time friend, was killing us.

It doesn’t matter how you got here. The courts sent some of us, others came for family or friends, and some of us came to CMA on our own. The question is, if you want help and are willing to go to any lengths to change your life..

© Crystal Meth Anonymous 2013